I think it'll be OK

I think everything is going to be OK.

Noah and I have yelled and cried and got through some issues. I seriously questioned our relationship and our love and our everything but have come to the conlusion I came to five years ago. I love him and we will figure it out as we go. It was really hard on both of us to question our relationship and our life together, but we came through. We talked about some hard issues including having children, buying a house, and the way that we talk to each other. We spend so much time with our friends that I think we kind of forgot how much fun we have just the two of us. We are going to have children which is a big decision. I'm wanting one right now of course but it's not a good time. We'll probably try in three years or so. We're looking for a house. Like seriously looking. Like we're going to buy and be moved in by mid Oct. beginning of Nov. seriously looking. We finally start to feel on the same page. There are times where things don't click and when I get upset but it is working and it's working better.

We are looking at houses at Lake Choctaw which I think is the best place for us. I didn't think I wanted to be that far out but it has lots of space, both in the house and in the yard. We get a lot more for our money. Noah's parents of course want us to stay in Grandview/UA and at first so did I but after some thinking and consideration, I think the Lake would be better. It would be nice to have some space...from his parents. We need some space from his parents. His mom especially.

I have been thinking about trying to send messages to some of the people I used to be friends with in college, but I'm afraid of what they will say to me. I didn't do anything that deserves the anger they feel for me but I would hope that time has passed. I miss my friends. But I guess if they can't forgive/forget then they aren't my friends. It makes me nervous.

My non-life threatening medical emergency is hopefully going to turn out to be nothing. So...I'm feeling good. I feel like I'm going to live and things are going to be OK. Now that I've said that my car will be totalled or something horrible like that but...for now, I think things will be OK.